Cow Economics of the Global Market

Cow Economics of the Global Market



Emerging 'isms' of the new economy

INFOSYSism 
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.

WIPROism 
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

DELLism 
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.

IBMism 
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism 
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

INTELism 
Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows & wonder why they don't run fast.

SUNism 
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism 
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

SAPism 
You don't have a cow. You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

APPLEism 
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism 
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism 
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.

HPism 
You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

GEism 
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism 
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism 
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

MUMBAI – city of dreams…

MUMBAI – city of dreams…

Local Trains...

¡Life line…

¡Quick and cheap mode of  transportation.

¡constitutes more than half of the total daily passenger capacity of the Indian Railways

¡First railway to be built by the British in India in April 1853. This was also the oldest railway system in Asia. 

Bollwood… 

 

The largest film producer in India and one of the largest centers of film production in the world.

Film City…Film awards such as filmfare, Screen Awards etc.

 Business Hub..

 

¡Major stock exchanges – BSE & NSE ,

¡Corporate & financial  capital,

¡Every day thousands of people come here to seek employment,

Contributing to  30% plus to tax revenue to the government

Rain…

Ganesh Festival

 Never ending spirit…

MUMBAI....

A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible.

Where lovers first love and then marry, Where there is place for every Tom, Dick and Harry
Where telephone bills make a person ill, Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.

Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen, Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
Where college canteens are full and classes empty, Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,

Where a cycle reaches faster than a car, Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
Where sky scrapers overlook the slum, Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,

Where people first act and then think, Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
Where the roads see-saw in monsoon, Where the beggars become rich soon,

Where the roads are leveled when the minister arrives.
This is Mumbai my dear, but don’t fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

 

Yeh hai Mumbai Meri Jaan… ;)

Small Stories

1. 
   

   A Goat & A Lion...

    One day a goat with her small child went
   
    into forest for food.
   
    Unfortunately, they forget their way back to home and
   
    struck in the forest at the night.
   
    A Big lion came and saw
   
    the goat and her child .
   
    The goat took her
   
    child nearer to her and thought that lion will definitely
   
    eat both of them.
   
    Lion came nearer
   
    to them and put his hands on the child and pampered her and
   
    told that "No fear, My Dear. I don't have any
   
    sisters so now onwards you are my sister and I am your
   
    brother".
   
    Then he gave
   
    chocolates, biscuits to the child and ask goat to come to
   
    his room with his husband for lunch and also ask her to
   
    celebrate raksha bandhan with him and gave her his visiting
   
    card and he promised the goat that "tell me if any one
   
    attack you or threaten you". Then he left the place
   
    with smiley face.
   
    Finally the goat got surprised and told her
   
    child....
   
   
    ..
   
   
   
    ..
   
   
   
    ..
   
   
   
    ..
   
   
   
    ..
   
   
   
    ..
   
   
   
    ...
   
   
   
    ..
   
   
   
    ..
   
   
   
   
   
    "I think Elections are coming...!!!!!"

    =============================

    

   Difference between
   Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions
   
    Case 1
   
   When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the
   pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface).
   To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They developed
   a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any
   surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to
   over 300 degrees C. 

   And what
   did the Russians do...?? They used a pencil.
   
    Case 2
   
   One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of
   the empty soapbox, which happened in one of
    Japan 's biggest cosmetics
   companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a
   soapbox that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the
   assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery
   department. For some reason, one soapbox went t hr ough the assembly line
   empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the
   engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors
   manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed t hr ough the line
   to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked
   fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.
   
   But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same
   problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead came
   out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and
   pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox
   passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
   
    Moral: Always look for simple solutions.
   
   Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problems .
     =========================================
   
     CA Question Paper....

   *:
   **
   
   *Ques: We know that 2/10=0.2*
   
   *but*
   
   *Prove that 2/10=2*
   
   *Ans : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus".*
   
   *but*
   
   *CA Students replied:*
   
   *2=two,*
   
   *10=ten.*
   
   *therefore          Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.*
   
   *w=23,*
   
   *o=15,*
   
   *e=5,*
   
   *n=14.*
   
   *therefore*
   
   *w+o=23+15=38*
   
   *&*
   
   *e+n=5+14=19*
   
   *Therefore     wo/en=38/19=2.*
   
   *Hence Proved*
   
   *FOR, CA " It doesn't matter ans kya hai, they say ...  ans kya lana he
   ? "*
   
   
   
   ==================================================
    

   tooooooo.................gud...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   
   Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
   
   
   His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
   his mother what he wanted.
   
   
   Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
   
   
   Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
   
   
   He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
   
   
   Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for
   his birthday.
   
   
   Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
   
   
   Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last
   year.
   
   
   Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this
   year.
   
   
   Then write a letter to krishna and tell him why you deserve a bike for
   your birthday.
   
   
   Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write
   krishna a letter.
   
   **************
   
   Letter 1
   
   Dear krishna,
   
   I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
   birthday.
   
   I want a red one.
   
   Your friend,
   
   Bobby
   
   
   **************
   
   Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
   year,
   
   So he tore up the letter and started over.
   
   
   **************
   
   Letter 2
   
   Dear krishna,
   
   This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I
   would like
   
   A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
   
   
   Your friend,
   
   Bobby
   
   **************
   
   Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
   started again.
   
   **************
   
   Letter 3
   
   Dear krishna,
   
   I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for
   my birthday.
   
   Bobby
   
   **************
   
   Bobby knew he could not send this letter to krishna either. So, Bobby
   wrote a fourth letter.
   
   **************
   
   Letter 4
   
   krishna,
   
   I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
   
   I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
   
   Please! Thank you,
   
   Bobby
   
   **************
   
   Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him
   a bike.
   
   Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he
   wanted to go to temple.
   
   
   Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
   
   
   Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.
   
   
   Bobby walked down the street to the temple on the corner.
   
   
   Little Bobby went into the temple and up to the altar.
   
   He looked around to see if anyone was there.
   
   Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the radha.
   
   He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the temple, down
   the street, into the house, and up to his room.
   
   He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a
   pen.
   
   
   Bobby began to write his letter to krishna.
   
   
   **************
   Letter 5
   
   krishna,
   
   I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE
   BIKE!!!!!!  
    
    

   
   
   
   
    =============================================================

Mumbai Ganpati 2009

Lalbaug Cha Raja 2009
75th Year

लालबाग़ चा राजा

Khetwadi 12th Lane Ganaraaj Tulasiwadi Tardeo Tejukaya mention Lalbag Khetwadi 8th Lane Bhajigalli (Nanachowk) Khetwadi 10th Lane Khetwadi 6th Lane Khetwadi 7th Lane Khetwadi 5th Lane Bhandari Street Bhandari Street-1

Source:

Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis.

Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis.
Share

Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis.

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

"Don't be serious, be sincere."

Start Enjoying from moment ................