A Goat & A Lion...
One day a goat with her small child went
into forest for food.
Unfortunately, they forget their way back to home and
struck in the forest at the night.
A Big lion came and saw
the goat and her child .
The goat took her
child nearer to her and thought that lion will definitely
eat both of them.
Lion came nearer
to them and put his hands on the child and pampered her and
told that "No fear, My Dear. I don't have any
sisters so now onwards you are my sister and I am your
brother".
Then he gave
chocolates, biscuits to the child and ask goat to come to
his room with his husband for lunch and also ask her to
celebrate raksha bandhan with him and gave her his visiting
card and he promised the goat that "tell me if any one
attack you or threaten you". Then he left the place
with smiley face.
Finally the goat got surprised and told her
child....
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"I think Elections are coming...!!!!!"=============================
Difference between
Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions
Case 1
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the
pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface).
To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million. They developed
a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any
surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to
over 300 degrees C.And what
did the Russians do...?? They used a pencil.
Case 2
One of the most memorable case studies on Japanese management was the case of
the empty soapbox, which happened in one of
Japan 's biggest cosmetics
companies. The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a
soapbox that was empty. Immediately the authorities isolated the problem to the
assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to the delivery
department. For some reason, one soapbox went t hr ough the assembly line
empty. Management asked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the
engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors
manned by two people to watch all the soapboxes that passed t hr ough the line
to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they worked hard and they worked
fast but they spent whoopee amount to do so.
But when a rank-and-file employee in a small company was posed with the same
problem, he did not get into complications of X-rays, etc., but instead came
out with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and
pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each soapbox
passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the line.
Moral: Always look for simple solutions.
Devise the simplest possible solution that solves the problems .
=========================================
CA Question Paper....*:
**
*Ques: We know that 2/10=0.2*
*but*
*Prove that 2/10=2*
*Ans : Normal college students insist Question is "OUT of Syllabus".*
*but*
*CA Students replied:*
*2=two,*
*10=ten.*
*therefore Two/Ten = Two/Ten = wo/en.*
*w=23,*
*o=15,*
*e=5,*
*n=14.*
*therefore*
*w+o=23+15=38*
*&*
*e+n=5+14=19*
*Therefore wo/en=38/19=2.*
*Hence Proved*
*FOR, CA " It doesn't matter ans kya hai, they say ... ans kya lana he
? "*
==================================================
tooooooo.................gud...............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
his mother what he wanted.
Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker.
He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for
his birthday.
Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last
year.
Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this
year.
Then write a letter to krishna and tell him why you deserve a bike for
your birthday.
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write
krishna a letter.
**************
Letter 1
Dear krishna,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday.
I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year,
So he tore up the letter and started over.
**************
Letter 2
Dear krishna,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I
would like
A red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.
**************
Letter 3
Dear krishna,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for
my birthday.
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to krishna either. So, Bobby
wrote a fourth letter.
**************
Letter 4
krishna,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry.
I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
**************
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him
a bike.
Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he
wanted to go to temple.
Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the temple on the corner.
Little Bobby went into the temple and up to the altar.
He looked around to see if anyone was there.
Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the radha.
He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the temple, down
the street, into the house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a
pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to krishna.
**************
Letter 5
krishna,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE
BIKE!!!!!!
=============================================================
An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)
(Student is silent.)
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold . Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class is in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.
This is a true story, and the student was none other than.........
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